divorcing food

It's not you, it's me.

I've decided to get healthy once and for all and I've had a revalation about it. I've realized that this journey is going to be like a heartbreaking divorce. I really do love food but I just can't go on like this. To make matters worse, we will always have to be connected in some way. We will have to keep the lines of communication, i mean, consumption open. We will have to make it work, for the sake of the kids, I mean, the hips, yes, for the sake of the hips. It is time. Time to let it all out and get over it. Time to come clean about what's been going on. All the late night affairs with the kitchen and desserts have got to go. The loving way the ice cream bowl looks at me so empty and lonely. Goodbye ice cream. I don't need you anymore. The soft sound the cookie jar makes as it closes so gently so no one will know. Not anymore cookie monster! I'm done with you. The delicious chips and guacamole that call my name at Fonda. Too late. It's over. There's nothing you can do. I've made up my mind. We've got to end this bad relationship once and for all.

Oh, and you, mr. pizza man! Don't look at me that way. You know this is for the best. What can I say about you? We will have to make this work but how? I don't want you to go forever either. Less cheese maybe? Will that make you a better influence on me? You're really breaking my heart. I will miss you the most I think but I know it's what needs to be done. You have lured me in with your incredible sauciness and your gooey ways for years but it's over. The time has come. You don't own me pizza man. I'm not your trophy wife. This is it. You've got to go. Pack up your shredded cheese, your delicious sausage, your pepperoni and olives and get out.

And then there are the snacks. They are like the children of this awful divorce. Still needing love and attention and constant affirmation that they will be okay and not be fogotten while I struggle to hold myself together. How should I behave around the snacks now? Should I show my true feelings? My anger? My frustration? My absolute unending need for them? Should I let them know they will always have a special place in my heart (and tummy), I just have to figure out how. Or should I put a smile on and do as I always do and put their needs ahead of my own...eating them up so they don't feel left out. No. That has gone on too long. Time to take care of me for a change. So long granola bars. You've fooled me for too long making me think you are a "healthy choice". Goodbye vanilla lattes and delicious oatmeal cookies from Starbucks that trick me with their "good for you" attitude because they are oatmeal. How much fiber can one girl take? We will all be okay. Time heals everything.

Or does it? How will I make it without these delicious friends of mine? What will become of me as I venture off on my own and break away from this unhealthy relationship I've created? It scares me to death to walk away but it scares me more to stay. The time has come. This is it. This is the moment.

Here we go...